Unwritten Rules of the Universe
by lilylunaluver
Summary: Lily Luna Potter had a relatively normal life - until she found some rather shocking news. With her (secret) boyfriend Lorcan Scamander in tow, she must face the wrath of her family when they find out she's - expecting? Lily/Lorcan and later Rose/Scorpius as well as Hugo/?mysteryBOY? :) Please read!
1. Rule 1

_ Rule #1: Lily Luna Potter shall not speak to, look at, or interact with boys other than family until she is at least 60._

James actually said that once, when I asked why he scared away a boy who was asking what the Charms homework was in first year. He stated the "rule" in a fancy, stuck-up voice. I kicked him in the balls. Didn't sound so high-and-mighty then, did he?

But he was actually telling the truth. Whenever I aproached boys, I was dragged away - sometimes even kicking and screaming - and whenever they aproached me, God help them. They usually either vanished or "mysteriously" appeared in the Hospital Wing. Sometimes both. It was bloody annoying.

In third year, I realized I had a crush on Lorcan Scamander, a family friend. My cousins counted him as family, but when I aproached him at the end of last year and told him I liked him, he said that he felt the same. We came to an agreement - we would be boyfriend and girlfriend, but only in secret.

Lorcan is really nice. He has the whole - tall/blonde/blue eyes/beach boy - thing going on. His mom, Luna Lovegood-Scamander, is really nice, an old family friend, though a little stange. She's also my godmother. Lorcan's dad, Rolf Scamander, is from Sweden, and his parents met when Aunt Luna was on vacation. They only dated, like, three months before they got married. I know she wasn't pregnant, though, because Lorcan and his twin brother Lysander came along two years later on September 23rd, 2008, a month before I was born on October 27.

Lorcan is in Gryffindor, with me, and - ironically - every single Wotter, like, ever. Even Scorpius. His dad was okay with it, though. Apparently, at least according to Uncle Ron, he's changed a lot since the war. Scorpius and Rosie and Al are best friends, practically inseperable, and they are often called the Golden Trio Two. Rosie and Scorpius also very obviously have the hots for each other, and would be perfect together if one of them would take their Gryffindor courage and ask the other out. But they won't. Ugh.

Back to Lorcan - his identical twin brother, Lysander, is actually in Slytherin. They are still super close, though, which makes me really happy. Lysander is really nice too - I consider him one of my cousins, maybe even my brother. Heaven knows he's nicer to me than my real ones.

Other than best friend/boyfriend (aren't those the best?) Lorcan, my bff is Alice Longbottom, daughter of Uncle Neville and Aunt Hannah. She's really sweet, also in Gryffindor, with shiny brown hair that falls in perfect ringletts around her pixie-esque face and bright hazel eyes. I am totally jealous, because my bright red and un-curlable hair manages to clash with pretty much everything.

I am currently fifteen, in my fourth year at Hogwarts. It's the last week of school before Christmas break. Christmas, as per Wotter family tradition, is always held at the burrow, which is surrounded by most of the family. The kids always sleep in sleeping bags and the adults conjur beds in Extended rooms (as done by Aunt Hermione, who is the best at that charm). I am usually really excited, but this year I'm a teensy bit nervous for reasons I will discuss later. Other than me being nervous, this year is going to be different because Nana Molly has her first Great-grandchild to dote upon. Remus William Lupin is the son of Vic and Teddy, and he is turning three months old the day before Christmas.

The Burrow Christmas is not only the Wotters - the Longbottoms, the Scamanders, and, since recently, the Malfoys all join us. That adds up to 19 kids total, if you count Teddy and Vic and Remus.

The math, ladies and gentlemen:

12 Weasley/Potter

2 Lupin (Teddy and Remus - Vic is counted in Weasley)

2 Longbottom (Alice and her little brother, Frank, a first year)

2 Scamander

1 Malfoy

And if you count up all the adults, it adds up to... _drumroll please!_

19 kids + 19 adults = **38 people**

In one house.

That's right, folks.

It's always nuts.

Out of my cousins, I have always been closest to Lucy, who is only a year older than me. And Dom, even though she's a sixth year. Honestly, the only reason I am close to Dom at all is that instead of pulling me away from boys, she is the black sheep who pushes me towards them. Other than Alice and Lysander, she is the only person who knows about my relationship with Lorcan. Not even Lucy knows.

The only reason Lorcan and I can get away with it is that we snog in secret, and us holding hands isn't considered weird because we are thought to think of each other as cousins.

We also do... ahem... _other activites_ in secret.

Don't judge me, I'm fifteen and Lorcan is really hot.

But right now, his hotness and my insane teenage hormones might have gotten us into a teensy little predicament...

I'm pregnant.

_Shit._

* * *

**SO! Thoughts, questions, REVIEWS! They would be totally awesome.**

**Clarifying: Rose/Scorpius WILL happen later, and yes Lily will be part of the reason of that.**

**Molly/Vic graduated**

**Vic married (to Teddy, duh)**

**James/Freddie/Dom in 7th Year**

**Rose/Albus/Scorpius 6th Year**

**Lucy/Roxanne/Louis 5th Year**

**Lily/Alice/Lorcan/Lysander/Hugo 4th Year**

**Remus - 3 months old (almost)  
**  
**REVIEWS PLEASE AND THANK YOU**

**Disclaimer: Everything in this lovely story you recognize, including ALL characters mentioned so far are NOT MINE. They are our lovely queen J.K. Rowling's. A few later characters will be original.**


	2. Rule 2

_Rule #2: Sneaking into Hogsmeade is all too easy when you're a Peasley._

Seriously, we are experts of mischief. Al has the Maurader's map (I'm pretty sure he knicked it, but whatever) and James has the cloak (again, I think it's knicked, but I'm not complaining). They taught all cousins all the secret passages in and out of school, and I got the information from said cousins.

All I have to do to sneak out is knick the cloak and the map from Dumb n' Dumber and sneak out. And that's exactly what I was doing on Monday, December 18, 2023.

Alice was with me. When I told her why I was sneaking out, she kind of had a fit. "You better not! Oh, you better not, Lily, cause if you are your mom's gonna kill you, and your dad, and your brothers, and their gonna kill Lorcan, and then my best friends will be dead and I'll be alone! I DON'T WANT A DEAD BEST FRIEND!" It took ages to calm her down and explain I was only taking a pregnancy test to ease my mind. I honestly didn't think I would be pregnant, but the symptoms of my flu were worrying me, so I had decided to calm myself down. I had been tired and throwing up every morning for the past week. I told everyone I had a bug. Sure, at the Halloween party the condom broke, but I still doubted I was _pregnant_.

It was about 9:30 now, so we had to make it there and back fairly quickly if we didn't want to break curfew at 10. We were under the cloak, with the map guiding us to the statue at the passage to Honeydukes.

I hadn't told Lorcan I was sneaking out, or why; I didn't want to give him a false alarm. I'd tell him what I did tomorrow, and tell him how the test was false. I was confident it would be false.

Alice and I slipped out of Honeydukes and walked around the town until we made it to the little pharmacy. I slipped out from under the claok and went inside.

I looked around, and found the tests under "Family Planning". Yeah right. More like "Finding out your family is going to murder you and your boyfriend". I shook my head. 'No one is going to be murdered because the test will be negative,' I thought firmly. I grabbed one muggle test and one wizarding one and went up to the counter. A bored-looking old lady stared judgingly at me when I handed her the tests, but I just glared. I might or might not have hissed at her as well. I paid and went back outside.

"You got them?" Alice asked. I showed her the tests. "Yup." "Good, let's go."

We slipped back into Honeydukes, and I bought some sweets to reward myself when the tests were negative.

Yeah, I was worried. I needed to constantly remind myself that THE TESTS WILL BE NEGATIVE. I was more worried than I let on.

Slipping into our dorm, I turned to Alice. "I am going to go in the bathroom and pee on these tests. Or whatever you have to do. Then, I will let you in and we will watch them turn out negative. Together," I said firmly, convincing myself as much as her. Alice just nodded. I went into the bathroom and locked the door.

I pulled out the muggle test first, since it would take longer. I looked at the directions and leaned over the toilet. After thoroughly dousing the test in my piss, I left it out. I turned to the wizarding test.

It was different. I first drank a potion. Then I spit into some liquid. Then I took another potion, peed in another liquid, and finally I mixed them and poured them over a piece of parchment. As that worked, I went and unlocked the door.

Alice raced in and locked the door behind her. We looked at the muggle test first.

A tiny little + was on the screen. I laughed nerviously. "Hahaha, silly muggle thing doesn't work! Lets' check the other one." Alice was white at this point. I picked up the parchment and looked at it.

_Test for: Lily Luna Potter_

_Pregnant, 7 weeks._

_Father: Lorcan Xenophilius Scamander_

I swore. Alice fainted, just like that. I felt like following but I stood firm. I pocketed the tests and destroyed all evidence they existed. I would use them to show Lorcan he was gonna be a daddy.

Oh god, I'm gonna be a _mom_!

I woke up Alice.

She looked up at me. "I don't want a dead best friend," she said again.

I smiled weakly. "Oh, well. Too late."

* * *

**Hello! I hope you like! I'll post the newest chapter ASAP, promise.**

**Reviews! I love 'em! Please please please! You review, and I love you!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing - nada - zero - zilch - so yeah! Please praise our amazing queen J.K. Rowling for the characters!**

**Yay thanks for reading!**


	3. Rule 3

_ Rule #3 You know your other half too well when you can predict their reaction to *ahem*__**shocking**__ news down tot he minute._

* * *

The first thing I did after I found out I was *gulp* _pregnant_ was try and figure out how to tell Lorcan. Keeping it from him didn't even cross my mind. I think I truly, honest-to-Merlin love him, and he deserves to know he's gonna be a father.

After one very fitful night sleep for both me and Alice, we went down for breakfast. I saw Lorcan already at the table eating his beloved bacon (we share an obsession with the stuff, this baby's gonna be a huge bacon-head). I walked up to him nerviously.

"Hey, Lorcan! I need to talk to you really quick..." I trailed off.

He looked up at me expectantly, swallowing. "Uh-huh?"

"_Alone_, please."

His eyes widened in understanding. "All right, I'm coming."

We hurried out of the Great Hall together. I slipped inside an empty classroom and he followed.

*Here is what I wanted to happen when I told him:

_Really? Oh, Lily, I love you, I'll be with you forever, I love this baby, oh my god, I'm gonna be a father, I'm so excited!_

Yeah, not really realistic. Here's what I expected to happen:

_Thump... dang it! Aguamenti - he wakes up from fainting. "Are you serious?" I make bad pun, he laughs nerviously, tells me he wants no abortion, and asks to tell Lysander. We agree to keep it a secret other than Lysander, Alice and ourselves._

Let's see how acurate I am.*

He turns to me expectantly again. I take a deep breath.

"I'm pregnant."

_Thump_.

Aha, so I was correct in him fainting.

I mutter "aguamenti" and he wakes up with a start.

"Lily, you're pregnant? Are you serious?"

I smile. "No, James is."

He laughs. "But you are pregnant."

I sigh. "Yeah."

"You do realize there is no way in hell or heaven above that I am going to let you get an abortion, right?"

I smile and kiss him quickly. "I knew you would say that! Don't worry, I never considered it."

"Can I tell Lysander?"

I hesitate. "Well, yes, as long as he promises to keep it a secret. Alice already knows, she helped me get the tests, and she is in on the whole 'keep it secret thing'. So if Lysander can be quiet, which I know he can, then yes. You may tell your twin." Quick count: I got everything right. Merlin, I know him too well.

He smiles. "No problem. I love you, Lily, you know that, right?"

I want to cry. "I love you too."

Then we leave the room hand in hand.

* * *

Lorcan went straight to Lysander and whispered something in his ear. Lysander started, and came over to where I was eating lots and lots of bacon.

"Hey Lily, Lorcan just told me the... news. Are you okay and everything?"

I smile at Lysander's thoughtfulness. "Yeah, I'm great, just surprised is all. Do you mind not telling anyone what you know?"

"Sure, no problem."

And that is why I love Lysander. No questions asked, no 'you need to tell someone'. And before you ask, no I don't love him like that. He's like my brother because he's Lorcan's. Besides, he came out a year ago. So that will never happen.

Alice looked between us, realized, and turned back to her food. Lorcan sat next to me and started eating again. Lysander went back to his table.

And my brothers jumped me.

"Lily, what's Lysander talking about?"

I glare. "Nothing that concerns you."

"It concerns us if Lysander knows. We're your brothers!"

I snorted. "He's a better brother to me than you guys, and you know it! Now leave it alone!"

"But-"

"Drop it."

"Lily-"

They finally went silent when I stood up and glared the way Mum taught me. I pulled out my wand, too, and even hissed a little. I love hissing.

Apparently, I was a little too scary, because several first years and family members who knew what my Bat-Boogey Hex was like (Mum taught me as soon as I got my wand) ran from the table. I sat down happily. Lorcan squeezed my hand.

Alice just rolled her eyes and went back to eating.

* * *

**  
Hello all! So, know that Lorcan and Lysander know, the story will start to really get interesting. I'm going to introduce other characters, and everything with start to get hectic!**

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. Thank our queen.

Reviews please and thank you! Yay!


	4. Rule 4

_ Rule #4 Rose and Scorpius belong together, even if they don't see it... __**yet**__._

* * *

I hate History of Magic.

It's so boring, as well as annoying. Professor Binns _still_ hasn't left, and I already know everything about most of what we learn. It was bedtime stories to us! We were the children of the War heroes! I am the Chosen One's daughter!

I'm getting an O.

So, today, the day after I had told those who were to know about the **thing**, I just needed to think. So for once, I was happy about History. I could zone out and no one would judge me. Everyone else did it too.

I was just thinking about everything.

_-Lily, you need to get a Healer. And tell your parents. And your family. Rose, at least._

_-No._

_-But, Lily, they're going to find out anyway. You aren't getting rid of it, which means you are going to grow._

_-I don't care._

_-Lily! You have to tell._

_-They can firgure it out for themselves!_

I then shut off the reasonable part in my brain. I decided to think about Rose and Scorpius.

Rose and Scorpius have been best friends, along with Al, ever since that day when Rosie's dad told her to beat Scorp in every subject. And to pretty much hate him. Rosie, being Rosie, got on the train, went up to him, and said in a loud, cheerful voice, "Hi! I'm Rose Weasley. You're Scorpius Malfoy, right? My dad doesn't seem to like you or your family. He said not to get too friendly... Wanna be best friends?" And Scorp, being Scorp, replied, "Sure! My dad said the same thing. This is gonna be great!" After the Golden Trio were all Sorted into Gryffindor, Al sat next to Rosie, was introduced to Scorp, and Alscorose, or the Golden Trio Two was created. They are all really smart, get perfect grades, and are worse pranksters than the Twins (James and Freddie), and that's saying something. The only thing: no adults realize that. It was really funny, because they had never been caught. They were considered the Mystery Twins (after the Twins). Al was almost a Gryffindor Prefect, but Scorp got it it instead. Rosie was the other one.

Everyone realized that the two were destined to be together after their first class. I never got a straight story, but apperantly they did something that made them seem like soul mates. Even more so, I managed to dig out that Rosie's patronus is a lioness while Scorp's is a lion. They are literally soul mates, like my grandparents.

Last summer, after years of them flirting and ogling each other, the Peasleys put their foot down and called an All-Family Meeting (plus a few choice friends) minus Rosie and Scorp. After days of arguing, shouting, hexing, and one trip to St. Mungo's (long story) we came up with Operation ScoRose. It was relatively easy:

1. Make them study partners (done)

2. Shove them in a broom closet until they have snogged (or more, we're not picky)

And after months of planning, today we would get to complete Step 2. I was to lead Rosie, and Al would lead Scorp.

I glanced up at the clock, planning ahead. 2 more minutes in class. Then I would be done with lessons for the day and be able to kidnap Rosie. This was going to be perfect.

The bell rang.

* * *

Al's POV

The bell rang.

_Perfect_, I thought. Scorp, sitting next to me in DADA, started to get up. "Hey, Scorp, I wanna show you something. Wait for me a minute, okay?"

"Sure, no problem."

After getting my stuff together, I led him out of the classroom. I put a blindfold on him ("it's a surprise") and led him to the designated broom closet. I shoved him uncerimoniously inside and said, "One minute, I need to grab something. Stay here." I then closed the door and locked it.

A minute later, Rosie and Lils came into sight. They were chatting eagerly about something, smiling and laughing. Lils led Rosie to the broom closet, and said, "So here it is, Rosie. Could you grab it for me? I'm so sorry, I can't stand broom closets. Too many people shag in them. It's disgusting." Rosie laughed and nodded. I unlocked the closet and she stood in the doorway, confused.

"Scorpius? What are you doing here?"

At that moment, Lils gave her a huge shove and she fell into Scorp's arms. The door slammed, and then I locked it. Lils and I high-fived.

"Awesome! We did it! Now we just have to wait."

For a while, they banged and pleaded from the inside of the closet, begging to be let out. We ignored it.

After a few minutes, people began to join us, asking if we had done it. When we said yes, they were excited as well.

One of the last people to show up was Alice "Allie" Longbottom, Lily's best friend. She came running, exclaiming, "I'm so sorry I'm late! McLaggen pegged me with ink-splattered pieces of parchment and I had to wash it out!" She smiled at me, and my breath caught.

For the longest time, Allie was like a little sister to me, much like Lils. But last summer, I began to notice her change. She grew up, her acne cleared quite a bit, she wore a little make-up and she now had curves. I began to feel strangely around her, and before long I realized I fancied her. She had no idea.

Lily gave me a funny look, and I shook it off. I smiled back at Allie.

Just then, James shushed everyone. "Do you hear that?"

I listened. "I don't hear anything."

James grinned. "Exactly. Who isn't banging on the door anymore?"

A silent cheer went up all around, and I tip-toed forward. I sneakily unlocked the door, and then threw it open.

"Aha! You two - aaaagggghhhh! That's disgusting!"

Rosie and Scorp were snogging very, very enthusiastically. She was practically on top of him, and he was running his hands all over her. At the sound of my voice, they broke apart, red-faced.

Scorpius looked at the masses of Peasleys (including Honorary's) and smiled weakly. "Hi, guys..."

Rose just squeaked.

For a moment, we all stared at each other.

Then, a giant cheer went up and I ran forward to hug my mates. "Congrats! Took you long enough!"

They were escorted like royalty up to the common room.

Operation ScoRose had officially worked.

Well, that went well, didn't it?

* * *

**Yay! ScoRose worked! And now you know... Al and Allie might be having a little drama later :) Be excited!**

**Reviews! I love 'em! Please please pretty please with a cherry on top!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing. Nada. Zero. Zilch. Sorry. None is mine. Thank our Queen.**


	5. SUPER-DUPER SORRY FOR THE WAIT

HEY ALL!

So, I know you're all waiting eagerly for my awesome story update, and I'm sorry for getting your hopes up- this is not an update.

Finals are coming up, and I'm also a teensy bit stuck with writer's block, so I promise to update again soon - by the beginning of June, promise. School lets out for me June 4th, but there's a bunch of no school days in between, so I can use that time to try and write. But I kind of need to study - if I fail my exams, my parents will kill me. Well, not kill, but I'm pretty sure maim/seriously injure isn't off their list, so...

Again, I'm really sorry, and I promise to update as soon as possible.

xoxo, Julianna


	6. Sorry Sorry Sorry

I'm going to temporarily stop writing this to focus on my other fics. I'm really sorry, but I'm having a lot of trouble with ideas. I'll update in the future, just not now. Sorry again.


	7. Apology

Hello my lovely readers!

I haven't updated in ages, and I am so sorry about that! I had writer's block, then I went to sleep away camp, then more writer's block, then I was traveling with no wifi which sucked and now I still have writer's block!

To top it all off, school is starting soon and I'm gonna have a shitload of homework on top of play practice 6 days a week on top of acting class, guitar lessons and family bonding time so my schedule is full...

Does anyone want to take over for me on some of my stories? I still want to write Theories, but it might be a while till my next update. Meanwhile, the others are up for grabs. I have a few notes on Here Comes the Sun and Rules so message me, but Magic is Might - go crazy!

Again, super duper sorry about everything!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo,

Julianna (much love)


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